Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Happiness and Children

A Buddhist once said that children were a burden, a burden so heavy that it would have to preclude parents from becoming monks and nuns. There is actually research out there that supports this hypothesis. Children are a lot of work. Many couples are so stressed because of their children that their partnership falls apart a few years into parenthood.

So the question is, do children add or take away from our happiness?

I think the question can only be answered on an individual basis. I find that my children bring immense joy into my life. They are my practice of the Tao, my reality check for my Zen meditation, the disturbance of my tranquility, the challenge that makes me grow, the object of my love and compassion, a gift from the heavens, an invitation to feel one at once, an invitation to giggle at my infirmities, to be humble, and to realize, once again, that I am but a human.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Happiness and Beliefs

When I look at the many websites on Buddhism, when I read the many clever aphorisms on happiness, when I go through my very wall on facebook, a wall on which many people weigh in most thoughtfully on the subject of happiness, I sometimes get the impression that we are all a bit too attached to our beliefs. Beliefs can be helpful, pulling us through, guiding us through tough times and towards a better, more compassionate way of living. Yet when our beliefs become "it" for us, when they matter more than our awareness of life as it happens, when they function as a sword that cuts through people, distinguishing one group clearly from another, such as Buddhists from unconscious people who destroy Earth, than I think our beliefs have gone too far.
What matters most is not what we can name, what we can explain, what we know. What matters is plain, plain Being, extraordinrary plain Being, the essence in all extraordinary plain Being, our all existence, the One to which we all belong that cannot be grasped. If the Dalai Lama is everything to us, we attach ourselves to what we can grasp, possibly missing the point. If the Buddha is everything to us, we are grasping a form, not the spirit. It is better to let go of the form, make some space in our minds, and let in doubt, not-knowing, non-belief.
Beliefs make us strong; non-beliefs make us humble. And when we are humble, we can laugh at ourselves, connecting with the unknowlable One to which we all happily belong.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Happiness Is Working On My New Book "Mileva Maric Einstein"

I will probably never again write a book like the Two Wings of Happiness; Connecting Western With Eastern Thought. It took ten years to develop a theory of happiness that is simple but inclusive, and to live by the wisdom of the West and the East without favoring one over the other. It has been a great pleasure and deeply fulfilling to write this book. I will now concentrate my effort on selling this book to a publishing house and on throwing myself passionately into the arms of a new project.
My new project is a novel about Mileva Maric Einstein, who was the first wife of Albert Einstein. She is my heroine, a woman so bright, so fascinating, and so mistreated. When I explored her birth town Titel in Serbia this summer, I had the good fortune to meet with the founder of the Tesla Society, the mayor of this region, and a newscaster of Serbia's most seen channel. I was interviewed about Mileva; the interested can follow the link below to rejoice.
Also, a little bit American impertinent kindness has opened the door of Mileva's closest relative, the generous, most helpful, proud Jovan Ruzic, who is the great-grandson of Mileva's brother Milos. He has shared with me that a part of Mileva Maric Einstein's birthplace still exists in his backyard. I was grateful for the fabulous translation by the founder of the Tesla Society (Peter Stojanovic). Without him, I may have never discovered the place.
What have I learned about happiness in the course of my trip? The Western understanding of happiness is to make things happen, to follow our dreams, to lose ourselves in the pursuit of our fitting goals. I have indeed lost myself, loved every minute, and -- while completely exhausted at times -- I have recuperated from the troubles of my ordinary life. I sat at the grave of Mileva Maric Einstein in Zurich, Switzerland, and cried some tears with the clouds that were weeping above her. I was cold, and afterwards I got sick with a cold too. But inside I am burning with desire to do justice for Mileva Maric Einstein! My new passion is filling me up. Quietly I observe the fire. Happiness is truly a result of combining the active and the non-active, contemplative approach to happiness.
Warm wishes to my readers!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qBUYQc6xW90